Daddy's Girl

It's Father's Day here in the UK and in the ole US of A and that means Hallmark once again sees its sales spike for a hot minute. There's always a couple people who grumble about the "greeting-card-holidays" - those days that seem to exist mostly for capitalist reasons based on flowers, candies, or cards. Say what you will, though, I like the idea of taking time out to celebrate specific people who deserve some kind of nod from the rest of us, as long as it's done in a spirit that understands that, in fact, these people should be celebrated everyday. That, I think is from where some of the grumbling may stem: the fact that mothers, fathers, secretaries, sweethearts, etc, are always around. Why take a single day to celebrate them, creating a guilty day when people feel obligated to buy some kind of trinket so as not to appear callous? But essentially, isn't that at the base of every holiday? Every year around December the 25th a certain story by a certain English author is put on display. It has, at its core, a specific message: this holiday should be celebrated, or kept alive in people's hearts, every day of the year. Its spirit of joy, love, and forgiveness should infuse everything we do. Précisément. And so, say I, should it be with these other days. However, the recognition, the global nod that these people deserve our affection, is an important aspect as well. Getting up in front of a group of people and declaring your admiration or love or appreciation for something or someone somehow gives it a new layer of importance, a reinforcement, if you will.

With that in mind, I am going to - surprise, surprise - reflect on my dad. Anyone who has ever met me will be able to attest to the fact that I hold my dad in quite high esteem. I think he's fantastic. That's in part because we've always had a wonderful relationship. From the days I was an infant and would coo and gurgle when he bathed me - as opposed to the screaming fits I threw when my mother tried - to the annual father-daughter dances he flew or drove 700 miles to attend while I was in high school, my dad and I have always been close. This is in part because we are so similar. We're both mostly type-A personalities, we both like the finer things in life, we both love hockey and football, we both freak a little when it comes to finances, we both enjoy a good laugh and a good drink, and we both love school more than is probably normal. We get each other. My dad and I can look at each other across a dinner table filled with 20 other people and immediately know what the other is thinking. We compare notes on having to write papers and the fact that we're both master procrastinators.

Now, some of all of that is genetic. I am, without doubt, my father's daughter. But lots of it has been nurtured over our 25- (almost 26 - yikes!) year-long relationship. From day one, my dad has been there, caring and loving, encouraging, guiding, and coaching both me and my brother. While my mom worked Monday-Friday, Dad was the one that got us up in the morning, braided my hair, and took us to school. He taught us to ride our bikes. He read to us all the time, sang songs with us, told us stories and jokes, and instilled values and morals we both have come to see as fundamental to who we are as people. (None of this is to downplay the role my mom played. But this is the Father's Day post.) Dad's the one that planted the seeds for my love of classical music but also good beers and liquors. More than anything else, my dad spent time with us and respected us and our opinions.

There's always differing opinions on dads. Sociology classes talk about the role dads have to play in our lives. Are people less well-off if they don't have a father-figure? John Mayer's song "Daughters" asks dads to be good to their daughters because it's their love that moulds their worlds and future relationships. I certainly don't have any definitive answers to society's big questions, but I do know that my life has been as fantastic as it has, and I have been given so many things to be grateful for, because of my dad. He is amazing and I do not know who I would be or what I would have become without him. Nor do I want to know. I think of my dad almost every day and we talk quite often, even being an ocean apart. But today I just want to say, in front of an audience, that I will never admire any guy as much as my dad and I don't think I will ever be able to completely express how much I love him.

Thanks, Dad.